A season prediction in June is like that craving for a full two pies of pizza at midnight… you know it isn’t benefiting you in anyway, but you just gotta have it. Therefore, I present to you the most-likely inaccurate, but entertaining season prediction for the Eagles in 2017.
WEEK 1: Sept. 10th. 1:00 @Washington Redskins
I’ve got this down as a loss for the birds. The Skins have definitely regressed after losing both Desean Jackson and Pierre Garçon to free agency, however it seems like we just don’t match up well against Washington. There is pretty much no reasoning behind it because we are definitely a better team. However, the odds are just not in our favor against Washington.
WEEK 2: Sept. 17th. 1:00 @Kansas City Chiefs
I believe the birds take a win against former coach Andy Reid. As we know all too well, Andy usually starts out slow. The Chiefs are a run first offense which plays right into the Eagles defense’s wheelhouse and I don’t think the Chiefs defense will be strong enough to hold off the new firepower the Eagles have acquired.
WEEK 3: Sept. 24th. 1:00 vs. Giants
The Giants are gonna walk into the Linc with their chests puffed out due to their new offensive weapon Brandon Marshall. Then their daddy, the Eagles, are gonna discipline them on opening day. The birds have owned the Giants for years now and they are matching up better than ever. The Giants are weak in the trenches on both sides of the ball, whereas the Eagles are one of the best in the league when it comes to the offensive and defensive lines. Eagles take the dub.
WEEK 4: Oct. 1st. 4:05 @ LA Chargers
If the AFC West was a family, the Chargers would be the ugly middle child. Their defense is extremely weak and no matter how much Phillip Rivers screams, that O-Line is gonna let the pressure break through. The Eagles are simply better on both sides of the ball, more so on defense. Don’t look now, but Dougie-P and the Birds have won 3 straight.
WEEK 5: Oct. 8th. 1:00 vs. Arizona Cardinals
Im gonna have to give this one to the DJ and the Cards. I don’t see anyone stopping David Johnson this year, not even the Eagles scary front seven. The Cardinals have a good D-line, along with two of the best DBs in the game in Tyrann Mathieu and Patrick Peterson.
WEEK 6: Thu. Oct. 12th. 8:25. @Carolina Panthers
Carolina is poised to have a bounce back year after finishing last in the NFC South. I think Cam has been humbled and is ready to get to work with his shiny new toy, Christian McCaffrey. I highly doubt the Eagles will be able to control Kelvin Benjamin on the outside with McCaffrey running out of the backfield into the middle of the field. The Birds are back to .500
WEEK 7: Mon. Oct 23rd. 8:30. vs Washington Redskins
The Eagles get redemption against the worst team in the division after losing to them on Kickoff Sunday. The Eagles have more weapons on offense than the Skins , something they couldn’t say in 2016. Washington has an average defense, but does have some blue-chip players in Chris Baker, Ryan Kerrigan and possibly Jonathan Allen. Speaking of Baker, maybe we should start Nick Foles for this game so that he can pull a Longest Yard move and hurl the ball at his crotch. If you don’t remember, Baker blind sided a defenseless Nick Foles back in 2014. Either way, Eagles come away with the win.
WEEK 8: Oct. 29th 1:00. vs SF 49ers
I think we all wish that Chip Kelly was still coaching the Niners so that we could embarrass his joke of a team. There was literally nothing positive to say about the 49ers in 2016 and it will be the same in 2017. The Eagles are gonna win this game and do it comfortably.
WEEK 9: Nov. 5th 1:00. vs. Denver Broncos
Despite being home and coming off two straight wins, I think the Eagles are gonna get humbled by Von Miller and the Broncos. That defense is still extremely strong in every area. It will most likely be a low scoring game, but I think Denver gets the win.
WEEK 10: BYE
WEEK 11: Sun. Nov.19th 8:30 @ Dallas Cowboys
It wouldn’t be an NFL season without the Eagles playing the Cowboys on SNF. Dallas is going to regress big time in 2017. Defensive coordinators had the whole summer to study Dak and figure his game out. The Dallas defense is a trash can filled with horse crap, on fire, in hell. Basically, it’s horrible and its gonna get diced up by Carson, Alshon and the gang.
WEEK 12: Nov 26th. 1:00 vs. Chicago Bears
Da Bears are a Damn Disgrace. They traded a slew of picks to go up one spot in the draft to select a QB who had only started 13 games in his college career. Chicago is a young team who has potential but they are not going to do squat this year. The Eagles out match them in close to every position.
It’s crunch time and the Birds have won two in a row.
WEEK 13: Sun. Dec. 3rd 8:30. @ Seattle Seahawks
The whole “any given Sunday” concept goes out the window here. There is no way in hell the Eagles beat the Seahawks on Sunday night in Seattle, in December. It’s just not going to happen. Although Seattle is over the hill on their dominance era, the LOB is still very much in tact and will over power the Eagles WR corps. Russell Wilson will most likely dance around in the backfield a lot, dodging defensive tackles and edge rushers all over the place, giving his receivers enough time to run away from the Eagles’s weak CB’s. Seahawks dismantle the Birds in Seattle.
WEEK 14: Dec. 10th. 4:25. @LA Rams
I see this being a close game between two closely even teams. However, I think the Eagles are slightly better than the Rams in a couple of positions. The birds fly high above the Rams in week 14.
WEEK 15: Dec. 17th. 1:00 @New York Giants
This game comes at a critical time for both teams who will be hungry to win. However, I have the Eagles winning this battle despite the Giants strong defense and improved offense including Brandon Marshall, Sterling Shepard and of course, OBJ. It may be hard to see the Eagles winning this game, but looking back at previous years, they frankly have the Giant’s number. I think the Eagles will take advantage of the Giant’s weak O-Line and disrupt the whole New York offense. Philly gets two straight wins at a crucial point in the season.
WEEK 16: Mon. Dec 25th. 8:30 vs Raiders.
Let the snowballs at Santa jokes rain down from every sports broadcaster this Christmas. The Eagles will take on the Raiders who got struck with bad luck last year when Carr went down. Oakland is a very talented team that may be pushing for the 1 seed in the AFC. Eagles lose this one.
WEEK 17: Sun. Dec 31st. 1:00. vs Dallas Cowboys
This will be the biggest game of the year. It’s at home against Dallas and may likely decide if the Eagles make the playoffs. I can see either team winning this game. The Eagles won earlier this season so Dallas will want revenge. It’s too close to call now, but hey, it’s June. Let’s be optimistic. Eagles beat Dallas and go to the playoffs.
FINAL RECORD: 10-6